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Wedding Dress Codes Decoded

Wedding season used to be summer. But with the rise of Pinterest, fall weddings have become all the rage (Katie 1 likes to think she started this trend as she got married in October 6 years ago). As we finish up the end of the traditional wedding season and enter into Millennial wedding season, we have engaged in quite a bit of research and discussion about what we should wear to the weddings on our calendars. While those of us here at Not a Corporate Fashun Blog believe that you can never be over dressed or over educated, we do recognize that while you should err on too formal, you don’t want to be the girl who shows up in a sequined cocktail dress to a backyard barbeque.  With this post, we hope to help you decode some of the more common wedding dress codes.  We also hope to offer all 3 of you that read this blog some tips for figuring out what to wear when the invitation doesn’t provide you with any rules.

First we're going to talk about dress codes that are usually noted on the invitation:
  • Black Tie: Of the dress codes, this is probably the most straightforward. Men in a dark suit/dark tie/white shirt OR a tux. Women in a formal cocktail dress or a full length gown. Fee free to go all out- without upstaging the bride of course. Don't know which to choose? High-low asymmetrical hems  work well. Good options? We love this one. This one too. 
  • Black Tie Optional: Slightly more loosey goosey than black tie. Fee free to dress to the nines (tux and full length gown) or keep it cocktail! We still recommend dark suits and ties for men, and formal cocktail dresses for women. NOTE: Katie 1's wedding was black tie optional. She expected men in dark suits and women in cocktail dresses, so there's that. Some good options: THIS or THIS. This one is also lovely but only available in a size 0. 
  • Casualish: ("Comfortable Clothing & Shoes"): We typically see this noted on invitations for beach weddings and weddings where both the ceremony and reception will be outdoors on grass. This is one of the more difficult dress codes to decode because appropriate clothing  can range from slacks and a button down for men to a suit, and a sundress and sandals to a more casual cocktail dress and wedges (or block heels) or women. Want proof? See below for what Katie 1 wore to two recent weddings. How do you decode this seemingly obtuse directive? Well first of all, know your  venue. Some venues are just inherently casual (beach, middle of the woods, etc.) and you're going to look overdressed if you show up in a suit or a cocktail dress. Other venues are more trendy and don't necessarily lend themselves to traditional wedding attire (for women) yet warrant slacks and a jacket (at the very least) for men and cool casual cocktail attire for women. These weddings are a great opportunity to bust out that oh so chic jumpsuit that we here at Not a Corporate Fashun Blog wish we could wear. Not sure about the venue? See below for how to get some intel! (PS: You can thank Katie 1's mom for the awesome picture of her outfit at the beach wedding. This is literally the best picture she took #blessherheart)
Next, let's discuss weddings where the invitation doesn't list a suggested dress code. Most wedding invitations are silent as to dress code, giving you less direction than the crazy (and unhelpful) code we've already named above. So, how to decode a non-existent dress code?
  • Start with the couple's wedding website. Sometimes the couple will provide that information on the "details" section of their site.
  • Next, ask fellow wedding guests what they are wearing. Crowd sourcing can be very effective.
  • If crowd sourcing isn't effective, we suggest you go to the source. You know the couple, so ask what they want/expect, but tread lightly here because wedding stress is a thing and it's real. Or, take what you know about them and you may get a pretty good idea of the expectations.
  • Then, put your Google skills to work. It's 2017 people. Photographers post their work all over social media, and guests post pictures galore. Take a look at some stranger's pictures (and judge them) while checking out the venue and the looks of the people who were there for a similar event. Plan your attire based upon the similarly situated events/formality of the venue. For example:
    • Evening wedding at a museum? Cocktail attire
    • Evening wedding on the grounds of a historic home with the reception in a tent on the grounds? Less formal cocktail, more like "church" dressy.
    • Church wedding and country club reception? Depends... hence the "Googling" advice.
  • Finally, consider the time of day, culture, and geography of the wedding. To be clear, this is the least reliable method.
    • Typically, evening weddings with a traditional venue will call for cocktail attire.
    • In our experience:
      • Evening weddings are dressier
      • Jewish weddings are dressier
      • Weddings in the south tend to be less dressy (think "church" clothes and lighter suits rather than cocktail). However, this may be because it's hotter or because so many of the southern weddings we've attended have been outside. 
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